Rethinking Belonging: A Different Perspective on Workplace Culture
Belonging is a vital topic in discussions about workplace culture, diversity, equity, and inclusion. It represents a feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group. However, feelings are subjective and complex, influenced by various factors such as life experiences, nervous system state, bias, health, and well-being.
Interestingly, it is also possible to feel a sense of belonging in groups or communities that are toxic, brainwashing, and harmful because these environments might validate personal traumas and insecurities. This raises an important question: Should belonging be the ultimate goal within organizations?
The Subjectivity of Feelings
Consider this: if someone has low self-esteem, they might feel that everyone around them thinks they lack value or aren't worthy. Similarly, if someone has undergone trauma in spaces with people unlike themselves, entering a similar space can be triggering, affecting their sense of safety and comfort. Can reassurances from colleagues make them feel better? Perhaps. But ultimately, true comfort and safety in such spaces require a regulated nervous system, the discharge of stress and trauma, and cognitive reframing.
Questioning the Necessity of Belonging
Is a sense of belonging necessary for individuals to thrive? Reflect on some of the most impactful leaders in history. Many of them faced significant opposition and hatred. What kept them going was a strong sense of purpose beyond themselves. If Martin Luther King Jr. had self-doubt, debilitating anxiety, and unprocessed trauma that was constantly re-triggered, would he have been as impactful? Likely not. If he were asked whether he felt a sense of belonging in the world, it's doubtful he would have said yes. Is feeling a connection to others and having a safe community vital for well-being? Yes. Is it reasonable to expect that in every space we enter? My opinion: no. It's possible for your sense of belonging to fluctuate in the workplace depending on your self-esteem, perceptions, and life experiences. We often conflate physiological safety and a regulated nervous system with 'feeling' accepted and liked.
A Warped Understanding of Safety and Belonging
I am not suggesting that focusing on belonging is bad. However, our understanding of safety and belonging has become warped. Instead of approaching well-being, inclusion, and belonging from a healing and biological perspective, we view them through a subjective and simplistic lens. We advocate for diversity and reducing groupthink, yet we also insist that people should feel universally accepted and that their perception of safety is others' responsibility.
Yes, organizations should ensure employees are respectful, compassionate, and curious rather than judgmental. They should work to mitigate biases and remove discrimination and stereotypes. But it's not an organization’s responsibility to ensure you ‘feel’ like you belong—that’s up to you.
The Role of Nervous System Regulation
Nervous system regulation is a relatively new concept that hasn't yet become a mainstream conversation in workplaces, but it’s time for that to change. Polyvagal theory, which originated from the work of Dr. Stephen Porges, highlights the importance of the autonomic nervous system in shaping our experiences of safety and connection.
In a time when organizations see employee health declining despite well-being investments, and when there's a pressing need for a diversity, equity, and inclusion reset, focusing on individual nervous system regulation offers multiple benefits:
Increased compassion and open communication
Greater engagement
Safety to take more risks
Improved physical health
Discharge of trauma and stress
Enhanced productivity
The list goes on. Am I proposing that nervous system regulation is the answer to multiple workplace culture challenges? Absolutely.
A Holistic Approach to Workplace Well-Being
While nervous system regulation won't solve all DEI challenges, it provides the healing, reset, and refocus needed to approach this work more thoughtfully and sustainably. It offers marginalized individuals the healing their ancestors didn’t get to focus on, and those in the majority the openness and clarity to ally and engage in more impactful ways.
The body plays a significant role in helping the mind feel safe, secure, calm, and at its best. By prioritizing nervous system regulation, we can create environments where individuals can truly thrive, fostering a more inclusive and resilient workplace culture.
Let's start this essential conversation and make physiological safety a cornerstone of our workplace strategies.
#belonging #psychologicalsafety #nervoussystemresilience #workplaceinclusion